If I can't dance I don't want to be in your revolution

I love the smell of napalm in the morning...smells like...victory

Dearest Mom,

If you call me in the wee hours of the morning and yell into my answering
machine “Andrea…come over quick…It’s…it’s an emergency!” I will jackrabbit
out of bed, throw a coat over my pajamas and drive at breakneck speed over
to your house.

HOWEVER

If, when I arrive, you are:

A. sitting up in bed with curlers in your hair

B. wearing a pink bed jacket and

C. reading the paper

and you are not either:

A. terminally ill or

B. mortally wounded

and the emergency is that you forgot to buy milk for your morning cup of
tea and you need me to “just be a dear and pop out to the store and pick
some up” I have every right to, without further notice, transport you to
Shady Acres Retirement Community.

This is your second warning.

Your dutiful daughter,

Andrea

PS Please find attached a Shady Acres colour brochure and information
package. You will be delighted to note that there are daily shuffleboard
tournaments and a Mixed Singles Sock-Hop every Tuesday.

posted by Andrea @ 10:39 AM